I'm so goff you guys
Friday, October 11, 2013
Recent Record Store Loooot
I'm so goff you guys
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
The Wonder of Barbecue Sauce
Barbecue sauce is something I always took for granted. I've had a lot of bbq sauce in my life, and though it comes in a range of flavor profiles, whether it is more on the smokey, honey, or hot side, bbq sauce has always been dependably delicious. Some brands are better than others, as with any other food product, but I never had bbq sauce I thought was straight up awful.
Then I went to Finland, and I realized that the base recipe for barbecue sauce is apparently a total mystery, and those who are not in the know can come up with some truly horrific concoctions. While I was studying in Finland, a couple of my teachers offered us some barbecue sauce while we were having a nice little wiener roast and a dip in the Saimaa lake.
Side note, Saimaa lake is incredibly beautiful and clean, like all lakes in Finland (except around Helsinki which is rather trashy). If you go, you might get lucky and spot a Saimaa seal (norppaa suomalainen), which is an endangered species. My group saw one. It was kewl.
The barbecue sauce in Finland was basically ketchup with lots of water, a little cayenne and onion powder and some spice I couldn't distinguish (probably cardamom). Nobody else voiced a complaint. My Finnish teachers didn't know any better, and some of the other students who were European said that they'd never even tried barbecue sauce until then. I was appalled, disgusted and a little sad.
The best foods in Finland were pastries, candies, ice cream, berries, potatoes and coffee. I would even argue that as far as those food groups go, they are superior by far to American versions, especially the berries and potatoes. Everything else I ate in Finland was old, stale, flavorless, wilted, or otherwise disappointing. I tried the Finnish barbecue sauce about 9 days into my 23 day trip, and that was the last straw for me. I accepted that my culinary tastes were decidedly patriotic, and was surprised to realize that the only solution to the bad food problem was to make a big pot of Louisiana bbq sauce and smother everything I ate with it. I carried some around with me everywhere I went.
As I said before, bbq sauce isn't something I paid close attention to before going to Finland, and I really didn't use it that frequently. I can now honestly say that this sauce is capable of saving almost any meal, or at least making it taste comfortably American. Cheese sandwich? Bbq sauce. Salad? Bbq sauce. Hamburger? Pasta? Scrambled eggs? Bbq sauce. You might scoff at me for wanting my food to taste more American, but if so, go ahead and eat in Finland and you'll find out what I mean. This is not about nationalism, it's about food quality and familiarity.
I now know that if food is disappointing, just dump copious bbq sauce on it and you're good to go.
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| http://www.kitchentreaty.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Homemade-Barbecue-Sauce.jpg |
Then I went to Finland, and I realized that the base recipe for barbecue sauce is apparently a total mystery, and those who are not in the know can come up with some truly horrific concoctions. While I was studying in Finland, a couple of my teachers offered us some barbecue sauce while we were having a nice little wiener roast and a dip in the Saimaa lake.
Side note, Saimaa lake is incredibly beautiful and clean, like all lakes in Finland (except around Helsinki which is rather trashy). If you go, you might get lucky and spot a Saimaa seal (norppaa suomalainen), which is an endangered species. My group saw one. It was kewl.
The barbecue sauce in Finland was basically ketchup with lots of water, a little cayenne and onion powder and some spice I couldn't distinguish (probably cardamom). Nobody else voiced a complaint. My Finnish teachers didn't know any better, and some of the other students who were European said that they'd never even tried barbecue sauce until then. I was appalled, disgusted and a little sad.
The best foods in Finland were pastries, candies, ice cream, berries, potatoes and coffee. I would even argue that as far as those food groups go, they are superior by far to American versions, especially the berries and potatoes. Everything else I ate in Finland was old, stale, flavorless, wilted, or otherwise disappointing. I tried the Finnish barbecue sauce about 9 days into my 23 day trip, and that was the last straw for me. I accepted that my culinary tastes were decidedly patriotic, and was surprised to realize that the only solution to the bad food problem was to make a big pot of Louisiana bbq sauce and smother everything I ate with it. I carried some around with me everywhere I went.
As I said before, bbq sauce isn't something I paid close attention to before going to Finland, and I really didn't use it that frequently. I can now honestly say that this sauce is capable of saving almost any meal, or at least making it taste comfortably American. Cheese sandwich? Bbq sauce. Salad? Bbq sauce. Hamburger? Pasta? Scrambled eggs? Bbq sauce. You might scoff at me for wanting my food to taste more American, but if so, go ahead and eat in Finland and you'll find out what I mean. This is not about nationalism, it's about food quality and familiarity.
I now know that if food is disappointing, just dump copious bbq sauce on it and you're good to go.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Goth/Industrial Nights in Portland, OR
Thought I should point out different goth/industrial nights around Portland that I've attended. These are events that happen regularly.
These events are all 21+
The Lovecraft Bar
Doesn't really belong in the category of goth/industrial nights, because technically every night is goth night at The Lovecraft Bar. You can check out their calendar to see if they have any bands playing or DJs spinning music to a specific taste. You don't have to be a fan of HP Lovecraft, but you'll appreciate the decorations a lot more if you are familiar with the author. They have a nice intimate space with a small enough dance floor that you probably won't feel awkward if it's just you and your date dancing.
I recommend the "Vortex" nights on Thursdays. Tuesdays with DJ Rhienna are good too, but I'm not really into witch house, which is part of the mix that night. Also, check out goth show and tell if you can. You don't have to participate, but it does last for a couple of hours so be prepared to listen quietly and respectfully if you show up for that event.
Shadowplay at Fez
Huge dance floor, with plenty of comfortable seating. If you come before 11, don't count on many people being there, but the place peaks just after midnight and it is really something to be on that floor surrounded by black-clad hotties of all genders. Just putting it out there, I am single and I like to be surrounded by hot people. When I have gone, they have mostly played a mix of industrial and EBM, but sometimes new wave and gothic rock get tossed into the mix.
Another awesome thing to know about this event is that it happens on Thursday nights, at the same time that Boxxes has $1 wells. Right now Boxxes is being renovated, and so they are conveniently renting space at Fez and are located on the floor below Shadowplay. If you want $1 wells, just walk down a flight of stairs and you can get your cheap drink on. Back upstairs the drinks are $4, if memory serves me, but they have a heavy pour. So it's up to you.
Church of Hive at Star Theater
Similar to Shadowplay, in terms of the crowd peaking around midnight or later. The dance floor is much smaller than Shadowplay, but it's a good size. In my opinion, DJs play a much wider range of genres from the goth music family tree at Hive, but it depends on the DJ and the requests people are making, too. Drinks are in the $4-$7 range, and very tasty. You can get a nice meal if you go onto the patio as well. You smokers can have your cancer sticks by a fire pit. Hive happens every Sunday night.
Embers
Honestly, I don't know if Embers still has goth/industrial nights. If someone out there knows and could tell me in the comments, I'd be willing to go there and check it out.
I used to go to Embers for g/i nights on Wednesdays, back in 2009. They charged a $5 cover, which was really annoying because it meant I had much less money to spend on drinks and tips.
Part of what I liked about this venue was that the walls were covered in mirrors and there were dancing cages. I know that sounds cheesy to some, but I guess my tastes are cheesy. At the time they also had drag nights in the front room of Embers, which meant that if you were tired of dancing you could see some cool drag. One was particularly memorable and awesome, I think she was Christeene Vale, the drag terrorist. Of course, all this information is worthless if they're not even doing g/i nights anymore...
I have not been to all of the goth/industrial nights in Portland. I've never been to Gothique BLEND, which happens every Monday night at The Analog, but I'd love to check it out. It seems like it's different from the other goth events around town—I assume that this one is all about the performers, not so much about a dj and a dancefloor. If you know of any other events that I haven't listed, please let me know about them! I love getting out.
These events are all 21+
The Lovecraft Bar
Doesn't really belong in the category of goth/industrial nights, because technically every night is goth night at The Lovecraft Bar. You can check out their calendar to see if they have any bands playing or DJs spinning music to a specific taste. You don't have to be a fan of HP Lovecraft, but you'll appreciate the decorations a lot more if you are familiar with the author. They have a nice intimate space with a small enough dance floor that you probably won't feel awkward if it's just you and your date dancing.
I recommend the "Vortex" nights on Thursdays. Tuesdays with DJ Rhienna are good too, but I'm not really into witch house, which is part of the mix that night. Also, check out goth show and tell if you can. You don't have to participate, but it does last for a couple of hours so be prepared to listen quietly and respectfully if you show up for that event.
Shadowplay at Fez
Huge dance floor, with plenty of comfortable seating. If you come before 11, don't count on many people being there, but the place peaks just after midnight and it is really something to be on that floor surrounded by black-clad hotties of all genders. Just putting it out there, I am single and I like to be surrounded by hot people. When I have gone, they have mostly played a mix of industrial and EBM, but sometimes new wave and gothic rock get tossed into the mix.
Another awesome thing to know about this event is that it happens on Thursday nights, at the same time that Boxxes has $1 wells. Right now Boxxes is being renovated, and so they are conveniently renting space at Fez and are located on the floor below Shadowplay. If you want $1 wells, just walk down a flight of stairs and you can get your cheap drink on. Back upstairs the drinks are $4, if memory serves me, but they have a heavy pour. So it's up to you.
Church of Hive at Star Theater
Similar to Shadowplay, in terms of the crowd peaking around midnight or later. The dance floor is much smaller than Shadowplay, but it's a good size. In my opinion, DJs play a much wider range of genres from the goth music family tree at Hive, but it depends on the DJ and the requests people are making, too. Drinks are in the $4-$7 range, and very tasty. You can get a nice meal if you go onto the patio as well. You smokers can have your cancer sticks by a fire pit. Hive happens every Sunday night.
Embers
Honestly, I don't know if Embers still has goth/industrial nights. If someone out there knows and could tell me in the comments, I'd be willing to go there and check it out.
I used to go to Embers for g/i nights on Wednesdays, back in 2009. They charged a $5 cover, which was really annoying because it meant I had much less money to spend on drinks and tips.
Part of what I liked about this venue was that the walls were covered in mirrors and there were dancing cages. I know that sounds cheesy to some, but I guess my tastes are cheesy. At the time they also had drag nights in the front room of Embers, which meant that if you were tired of dancing you could see some cool drag. One was particularly memorable and awesome, I think she was Christeene Vale, the drag terrorist. Of course, all this information is worthless if they're not even doing g/i nights anymore...
I have not been to all of the goth/industrial nights in Portland. I've never been to Gothique BLEND, which happens every Monday night at The Analog, but I'd love to check it out. It seems like it's different from the other goth events around town—I assume that this one is all about the performers, not so much about a dj and a dancefloor. If you know of any other events that I haven't listed, please let me know about them! I love getting out.
Insanely Delicious Vegan Gluten-Free Cheese
This is not an original recipe, but I substituted enough ingredients that I thought it merited an actual blog post. The original recipe can be found here, at Sweet Roots blog. Check out that blog, by the way, for more super delicious vegan, gluten-free foods such as baked oatmeal.
I'm telling you about this cheese because it is so delicious and really easy to make. Even if you don't follow the measurements exactly and roughly throw ingredients in based on the flavors you prefer, it's going to turn out delicious. Mine tastes just like cheddar, but with a hint of coconut and spicy peppers. If you don't like the taste of coconut, you won't like this cheese. It's not super strong, but I guarantee you will notice the coconut flavor. I think part of the reason this cheese tastes so much better than any vegan cheese I've yet tasted on the market is because the coconut gives it the satisfying fat that dairy cheese would have, while also being meltable.
I ended up substituting most of the ingredients because I do not have the time or money to go out and buy agar agar flakes, white balsamic vinegar, tapioca starch, or liquid smoke, especially considering that I would only be using a small portion of each for this recipe. I also didn't have paprika, so I made do with cayenne. I used comparable ingredients that I had on hand. In my opinion, Bragg's apple cider vinegar and liquid aminos are much healthier than white balsamic vinegar and liquid smoke anyway.
The Sweet Roots Version:
Ingredients I used:
It's probably not necessary to use agar agar or xantham gum. You might be able to get away with corn starch in a pinch, or nothing at all to gel it if you boil for 15 minutes.
You can probably tell that I don't know anything about cooking, so I'm sure some people will look at my measurements and cringe at the proportions of flour to xantham gum, which I assume are wrong. But I judged by how the cheese texture felt while I was cooking it, and it turned out just fine. If you are also an imprecise cook, you can at least benefit from my experience. Mad Scientist Kitchen.
I'm telling you about this cheese because it is so delicious and really easy to make. Even if you don't follow the measurements exactly and roughly throw ingredients in based on the flavors you prefer, it's going to turn out delicious. Mine tastes just like cheddar, but with a hint of coconut and spicy peppers. If you don't like the taste of coconut, you won't like this cheese. It's not super strong, but I guarantee you will notice the coconut flavor. I think part of the reason this cheese tastes so much better than any vegan cheese I've yet tasted on the market is because the coconut gives it the satisfying fat that dairy cheese would have, while also being meltable.
I ended up substituting most of the ingredients because I do not have the time or money to go out and buy agar agar flakes, white balsamic vinegar, tapioca starch, or liquid smoke, especially considering that I would only be using a small portion of each for this recipe. I also didn't have paprika, so I made do with cayenne. I used comparable ingredients that I had on hand. In my opinion, Bragg's apple cider vinegar and liquid aminos are much healthier than white balsamic vinegar and liquid smoke anyway.
The Sweet Roots Version:
2 cans coconut milk (full fat, thai kitchen brand prefered)
3 T agar flakes *(see notes below if using agar powder - I primarily use powder now)
1 t white balsamic vinegar
4 T tapioca starch
1 t smoked paprika
1/4 t liquid smoke
2 t sea salt
1/4 c nutritional yeast flakes (optional but definitely gives it more cheesy-ness) - UPDATE
Pinch of turmeric (for more authentic cheese color - optional)
1. Boil coconut milk until no longer seperated. Add white balsamic vinegar, agar flakes, and salt. Boil gently for 15. * (no need to boil 15 minutes if using agar agar powder)
2. Add remaining ingredients, one at a time. Whisking all the while! Cook another 5-10 minutes.
3. Remove from pan and put in greased, flat-bottomed glass dish or parchment paper lined loaf pan.
4. Let cool two hours. You can also stick in fridge when cool and use the next day. Slice and enjoy! (If it's refridgerated, you can actually grate it. It's a little slippery though and easier to just slice).
Ingredients I used:
2 cans full fat coconut milk
1 tsp xantham gum
1 tsp Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
4 tsp Bob's Red Mill general purpose gluten free flour
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp Bragg's Liquid Aminos
2 tsp salt
1/4 c nutritional yeast flakes
It's probably not necessary to use agar agar or xantham gum. You might be able to get away with corn starch in a pinch, or nothing at all to gel it if you boil for 15 minutes.
You can probably tell that I don't know anything about cooking, so I'm sure some people will look at my measurements and cringe at the proportions of flour to xantham gum, which I assume are wrong. But I judged by how the cheese texture felt while I was cooking it, and it turned out just fine. If you are also an imprecise cook, you can at least benefit from my experience. Mad Scientist Kitchen.
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